Music Monday – I Wish I Could Be Lonely Instead

Anyone who meets me knows I love music. I love all types… ummm okay I love most types of music. For me its about the lyrics and what it is the artist is talking about or what message they are trying to convey. I love to dissect a song and its lyrics completely. Every Monday I want to post a song that either inspires me, makes me think about the world we live in, motivates me to always be who I am or may be something I was feeling at some point. It will be a great mix of different types of music and hope it will also do the same for you. I love to think that music captures what so many of us may be feeling or want to say, but don’t know how.

SONG – I Wish I Could Be Lonely Instead

ARTIST – Kelly Clarkson

LYRICS –

I should have kissed you
One last time
I would have held you
So much Langer
If I’d known it’d be the last time
If I could forget you
Make all these memories fade to grey
I’d rather not remember what I foolishly traded

I think I might be missing you
Like you said I would
I think I might have run away
I’m a fool yeah I’m a fool
Think I meant I love you
When I said that I don’t care
Wish I were just lonely instead

I should have loved you
More than I did
Living without you
With your ghost and your voice always in my head
I couldn’t see you
And now I see you everyday
But not with me
She seems so nice
She makes you smile
Like you use to smile at me

I think I might be missing you
Like you said I would
I think I might have run away
I’m a fool yeah I’m a fool
Think I meant I love you
When I said that I don’t care
I wish I were just lonely instead

You were right
I’m lying here
Wishing you were with me
Hoping that you might be
Missing me
Cause I can’t seem to fight it honey
Wish I could erase every part of you and me

I think I might be missing you
Like you said I would
I think I might have run away
I’m a fool yeah I’m a fool
Think I meant I love you
When I said that I don’t care
Wish I were just lonely instead

LISTEN TO IT HERE – I Wish I Could Be Lonely Instead by Kelly Clarkson

WHY I PICKED IT – Yup you guessed it… another of the songs I have had on repeat since I left Egypt. Oh & yes another Kelly Clarkson song. Of course BREAKAWAY was my 1st Kelly song (hello my blog is named after that song) & since then I have also picked CHIVAS, MAYBE (my favorite song in the world) and WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU. Anyway this one is different because this is a song she never released… it’s one of her many leaked songs, and is one of my favorite songs of hers. I don’t even know what to say… I just love this song because it’s how I am feeling right now. I know I am missing him like he said I would… and I fucking hate that I think I might have run away. I am scared of love and seem to do a great job of running away. Sometimes I just don’t think I deserve someone so amazing and get scared. I still think of him every day… and I know I still love him and wish he was with me every moment. I know I’m a fool for leaving… and now just wish I were lonely instead because all the memories haunt me. I know I sound dramatic, but it’s been tough… very damn tough, but it’s music I turn to when I need help. This song I heard over 100 times and can’t over it… I have the live version of it and it’s so fucking raw and emotional. I hope you hear it and listen to the lyrics… it’s a depressing song, yet so damn beautiful and full of meaning.