Feb
03

#ShitMyCustomersSay

This is not travel related, but its my blog after all so I can write about whatever right… right? Well seeing as I made a huge change of plans and am about to put in my two weeks notice very soon & quit my job to backpack around the world. I thought I would share some of the things I have to deal with at work. This is certainly going on the list of things I will NOT miss while I am gone.

If any of you follow my tweets you may see that every once in a while I tweet with the hash tag #ShitMyCustomersSay. It’s a hash tag I made up to track the stupid things my customers say or ask. I have never disclosed any information that what compromise any of the customer’s or the bank’s information. I just find it funny what people will say or ask when they call the bank & want to share it with everyone.

I am still using the "POWER WORDS".

These are real conversations I have had. I only picked the best!

<<<<- – ->>>>

Me: “May I have your account number?”

Customer: “Do you need the whole account number?”

Me: “Yes…”

What I really wanted to say: “Ummm no just give me a few and I will try to guess the rest.”

<<<<- – ->>>>

Customer “Do I put my PASSWORD where it says LOGIN ID?”

Me: “No sir you put your LOGIN ID where it says LOGIN ID.”

What I really wanted to say: “Yeah try putting your PASSWORD where it says LOGIN ID… lets see what happens.”

<<<<- – ->>>>

Customer: “I know I don’t have money but if I go to the mall will I be able to buy stuff?”

Me: “No ma’m you will not be able too”

Customer: “Oh okay because I really want to go shopping.

Me: “Oh I am sorry about that.”

What I really wanted to say “Really ma’m do you hear what you are asking? Seriously get it together and sit down.”

<<<<- – ->>>>

Customer: “Why do you need to verify me? I was already verified by the branch a few days ago.”

Me: “For security purposes we have to verify you each time you call.”

What I really wanted to say: ”Sir you make NDS (No Damn Sense).”

<<<<- – ->>>>

Customer: ”What is the address I mail in deposits too?”

Me: ”Please mail your deposits to XXXX any street Salt Lake City, UT XXXXX”

Customer: “Okay is that in Phoenix, AZ?”

Me: “No sir that is in Salt Lake City, UT.”

Customer: “Oh okay.”

What I wanted to say: “Sir how the hell is Salt Lake City, UT going to be in Phoenix, AZ?”

<<<<- – ->>>>

Customer: ”This is a personal account do I login under business?”

Me: “No ma’m you would log in under personal.”

What I really wanted to say: “Yeah lets try that and see what happens.”

<<<<- – ->>>>

Customer: “I have transactions on my account that I didn’t do because I have been in jail the past 3 months.”

Me “Okay well let’s take a look at them together”

What I really wanted to say: “Oh girl were you really? What were you in there for? I’ve been to jail before, but only for 17.5hrs.”

<<<<- – ->>>>

These are only a few of the many crazy calls I get through out my day at work. Now you can see why I am not a big fan of my job. Okay these aren’t the only reasons but this is some of the stuff I have to deal with on a daily basis. I am glad I have realized I do not want to spend any more time answering phones & stuck in a cube. I am glad I took a chance and booked my ticket and am about to BREAKAWAY. I am sure a lot of you deal with customers as well (or used too) what are some things you have been asked that just make NDS (No Damn Sense)? Oh and everyone is more than welcomed to use this hash tag.

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Comments

  1. Haha I have to deal with these kinds of people as well. Most of them probably shouldn’t be using computers.

    It’s infuriating at the time, but glad we can laugh about it!
    Kieron recently posted..14 Free Lonely Planet Apps

  2. My customers are usually the best part of my job, it’s some of my coworkers who drive me insane. I enjoy your #shitmycustomerssay tweets :-)
    Ali recently posted..How Travel Has Changed My Priorities

  3. Hilarious! I work in a supermarket so I get just as bad! I once had someone bring a frozen meal to me and ask me if she would be able to freeze it ?!?!

    And there was the time I served a woman with her kid, who she then turned to and said “Now, this is why you should study hard in school… If you don’t you’ll end up like this lady here…” Oh, if only she knew I was doing a masters in physics! So rude!
    Lauren recently posted..How to start selling everything you own in preparation for a RTW trip

  4. Just think…a few short weeks and it will all be a memory!!!
    Gillian @OneGiantStep recently posted..FollowFriday 28Jan2011

  5. LMAO! Patience my friend, patience! I wouldn’t be able to keep it cool all the time. I guess I would have snapped already. :P

    Good thing is that you are leaving soon!!!
    Norbert recently posted..10 Must See Gaudí Buildings in Barcelona

  6. These are hilarious, and I can feel your pain, as I’m sure many people in the ‘customer service’ industry can. Love the hashtag too, I might have to use that one. The stupidest thing I’ve heard someone say happened when I worked for airport screening (like the TSA but in Canada) a few years ago. I was getting people to put their bags on the x-ray belt and empty metal from their pockets (this is before the body scanners). A lady came up with her baby in a car seat. I told her she’d have to take the baby out, so we could put the car seat through the x-ray, or we’d have to physically search the baby in the car seat. Then she said “well can’t he just go through the x-ray: he’s sleeping and I don’t want him to wake up.” In case you don’t know xrays for airport screening are totally different than the x-rays at a doctor’s office. And with our xrays car seats would get stuck unless we sent them through upside down. So I told her “no I’m sorry we can’t send your baby through the xray” and I gave her the same options as before. I wanted to ask if she was insane, and call Child Protective Services, but I didn’t. But that incident made me realize how stupid people can be, and how I wish there was a test people had to pass before for they could have kids.
    Alouise recently posted..I Have Always Depended On The Kindness of Strangers

    • Oh wow Alouise, that is crazy people just have no damn common sense. I bet you looked at her kinda crazy. I know I would have. As for using the hash tag oh you can use it any time you would like!

    • QueenBrain12 says:

      wow.. I guess this is why I can’t work with customers face to face. I show my feelings and I know my face would say to this woman” Bitch are you stupid! Poor kid” lol

  7. First, I love the one where the lady wants to go shopping. Second, I’m dying to write a post, or rather an entire ebook on my last job but unfortunately some former coworkers read my blog :( Third, I didn’t know you were from SLC! I went to high school in North Ogden.
    Laura recently posted..The One with the Sunglasses

  8. You’ve just reminded me that I have a post I should eventually write about my adventures at work. I didn’t have customers with the ridiculous questions above…I’ve enjoyed your tweets but am ready NOT to read another because that will mean you are FREE!!

    Time to break away Jaime — use those sick days and then PEACE OUT!
    Heather recently posted..No Macaron Left Behind- 47-54

    • Get on it Heather…jk! I am ready to not tweet them anymore as it will mean I am not longer working and will be FREEEEEE… ah cant wait!

  9. LOL! Jaime, this is so funny! But I am with you. I get so annoyed at times, and I really try to hide it, but today a customer asked me if I was having a bad day, lol! I said no, and he tells me, “well, you sound a little irritated, and i’m asking you because i want you to help me….”. I said, “sir, i’m not irritated and i am helping you that’s why we’ve been on the phone for the last 20 minutes trying to get you in.” I must admit, I felt a bit bad for the computer illiterate man, but I really don’t know what they are doing with a computer if they have so much trouble. I think some people shouldn’t be allowed on them. And i hope i don’t get graded on that one lol.

    Don’t worry, it’s almost time to go bon voyage! :D

    • Funny thing Rubi have had the same situation before. It’s like customers know what you are feeling and if you are being authentic or sarcastic. About people be allowed on the computer I have to agree with you some people shouldn’t be allowed.

  10. As we already told you, these examples need to become the next bestseller. Work on the book when you are away :)
    The NVR Guys recently posted..On Working Virtually – Find Your Strengths

    • QueenBrain12 says:

      I’ve always told you Jaime that you need to write a book. I hope you really think about while you are traveling.

  11. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with customers. I would be using power words of a different variety.

    Man, I never would have thought that you actually had to have money in your account to buy shit… lesson learned ;)
    Nick Laborde recently posted..The paradox of doing it all

  12. hahah boy, this is so funny….

  13. Have to love jobs that interact with the public on a daily basis. Just remember NOT to say what you are really thinking, even on the last day :)

    But definitely up for more blogs like this one LOL
    Justin Hamlin recently posted..Navigate Focus Live Inspire

  14. QueenBrain12 says:

    I try hard not to be one of these customers since it is torture dealing with them. I’m glad you are breaking away from this but you will still run into crazy, stupid, NDS people while you are traveling. So please share those adventures!

  15. Very very entertaining to read! Love your power words!
    I wonder whether you are going to miss them after a few months on the road :D
    Dina recently posted..The Count of Monte Cristo- or How We Escaped from Angry Seagulls

  16. Haha, love the seventh one: “I have transactions on my account that I didn’t do because I have been in jail the past 3 months.” – what an honest girl!

  17. Stupid question from champs sports custmers

    Custmor: do you have the new Jordan?
    Me; no we already sold out
    C: so you dont have 10
    Me:no sir we already sold out
    C: what about a 10.5
    Me: sold out sorry sir

    what i wanna say is “SOLD OUT AND WE DONT HAVE ANY FUCKING LEFT

    C: what color dou have this shoe
    ME: point at the shoes on the wall and show her what color
    C: so you dont have it blue
    Me no
    WIWS: is blue on the dam wall

    • Just now seeing this comment Remy…lol I swear people are stupid. Ahh the things we deal with…. so glad I don’t work here any more. I’m sure you’re glad you dont work here either. Miss ya lil bro hope San Diego is treating ya well.

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