As I write this I am laying on my bedroom floor with a million thoughts running through my mind. It doesn’t help that as I’m laying here I am also listening to The Promise by Tracy Chapman on repeat. I don’t know what I am going to do without this floor. Laying here letting my mind run wild while listening to music has become my favorite form of therapy and very common for me during the last 15 months back home. I don’t think I can even count how many nights I’ve spent laying here just thinking and listening to music. Sometimes I wish we could find a way to shut our minds off, but then I’m like “Nope.” because if we did that we couldn’t dream. I believe dreams are what keep us motivated and alive… without them what would we have?
Ahhh anyway so in a few hours I leave for my second trip around the world and I don’t even know what I want to write about, but know I want to write something before I leave. I guess what I want to write is that I honestly can’t believe this is happening. I feel like it was just yesterday that I said the last goodbye and came home from my 2 year backpacking trip around the world. I’ve mentioned before that the reality of coming home after traveling the world was much harder than actually leaving and traveling the world it self. Even after being home a year it all felt like a dream and even right now it feels that way. I sometimes catch myself wondering if I ever even did what I did, but remind myself I did do what I did and am proud of myself. I lived one of my dreams and I am about to continue on with that dream of seeing more of the world. It hasn’t been easy to achieve, but because I’ve made it my priority I was able to achieve and now going on my second trip around the world.
It’s like deja-vu for me. All the sacrifices I made for my first trip I have had to do for this one too and maybe even more this time around. What’s funny is that on the post I wrote right before leaving on my first trip around the world “Let your thoughts & dreams consume you.” I mention that I am laying on my bedroom floor too and think I feel the same way again. Okay I need to hurry and finish writing this because my nephew just came in my room and told me to hurry. He wants me to go to his room and watch Full House with him one last time before I leave. Oh shit… how I am going to miss my niece & nephew. I’m going to miss all 5 of them, but the two I live with the most. It’s like I’m an older brother to them. We have our good times and our bad (especially when I accidentally hurt them)…lol.
So what was I saying? I guess nothing really useful just rambling and I’m sure this post isn’t even going to make sense. So to be honest with you… even though this isn’t my first rodeo I don’t know what to expect. I’d like to compare any form or travel regardless of how long it is to a snowflake. No two snowflakes are alike and that is what travel is. Travel is a snowflake… it’s unique to your moment and time in that location filled with your emotions and it can never be repeated again. That is why I can only hope this trip is half as amazing my first trip was and just let it be. Even though I have plans for my second trip around the world I’m going in with no expectations and see where the road takes me.
My biggest fear though is not coming back home this time around. And yeah I’m now crying as I write this. I’m scared I’m going to travel a bit more and eventually go back to Egypt and never leave and be okay with that. I know it’s infuckinsane to even be thinking that, but I can’t help it. That’s something I think about just about every damn day even though I have no fucking clue what is going to happen the day I decide to go back. It’s something I’ve been dealing with since the day returned home and am going to continue to deal with until well I go back and see what the hell happens. Sometimes I wish we could see the future, but then I’m like “Nope.” because if we did life would be boring. I also believe it’s the hope we have for the future that keeps us motivated and alive… without them what would we have?
Sorry for getting all crazy and emotional on y’all. Sometimes I can’t help it.
You know what I am excited for though? I’m excited that I will be able to do things differently this time around. I know I wouldn’t change a single moment from my first trip… not the hand job, not being held at gunpoint, not almost going to jail abroad and definitely not falling in love in Cairo. I’m a huge believer of everything happens for a reason, but anyway that you have no control of really. What I want to do differently is the way I travel. There is no right or wrong way to travel… and I hate when people argue that one way or another is better. Sorry, but it doesn’t fucking matter how one travels because at the end of the day… travel is travel and it’s up to that individual. I’m going to try though to not be as connected and try and get off the beaten path a bit more. I feel like I spent a lot of time online on my first trip that I could have spent doing other things where ever I was. It’s just tough because I like to keep my blog updated and lord knows I’m addicted to Instagram and Twitter. As for off the beaten path… I just wish I wasn’t so scared to go off it when I’m the road. Yeah I said it…lol, sometimes I’m just scared and in the end where I’m visiting is new to me so who cares. Right? Other than that… I think I’m going to continue traveling the way I have and enjoy doing so by taking my time and trying to make the most of it in each location and following my gut and heart to what I should do next.
Fuck it’s 1:30am already and I should be leaving at 4am and I still have to go watch Full House with my nephew. It’s going to be strange because I’m actually setting off with my parents and not on a big jet plane alone. I’ll actually be spending the first month of my trip in the small town my parents were born in. It’s the small town I wrote about a while back that is basically run by drug cartels. Thankfully things have improved and it’s much better now.
I guess for now this is it… I’m so excited to be back on the road and can’t wait to share my experiences with y’all. I’m also excited that now that I am back on the road I will be updating my blog more often. I know I didn’t do a good job of it while I was home, but am sure y’all understand why. Like last time my blog will be a few weeks behind, but I’ll be updating my Facebook, Twitter and now Instagram much more often. Oh & like always thank y’all so much for following along and if any of you ever need anything or have any questions seriously don’t hesitate to contact me.
To everyone who reads this follow your dreams, because if you can dream it you can achieve it. Be you. Be happy. Those are the most important things in life.
EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee this is it y’all… my breakaway continues.
Bye Houston (again)… hello world (again)!!!