I’m sitting at a little café in Chefchaouen, Morocco and I can’t believe two things. 1) I AM IN AFRICA & 2) THAT I AM WRITING MY 200 DAYS POST. Seems like just yesterday I was wondering why “WE” don’t have equal rights for my 100 days post (for the record I still wonder). At that time I was still in Playa del Carmen gearing up for my Brothers Wedding and little did I know the next 100 days would be just as amazing if not more than my 1st 100 days. 100 days is a long time and in the last 100 days I managed to do a lot of amazing things. I know most of you read my blog regularly (at least I hope so), but I would like to recap the highlights of my last 100 days before I get into what I really want to write about.
I made it to my brothers wedding & also went back home to attend my best friends wedding. I wouldn’t have missed either for the world. I had so much fun and loved seeing everyone again before continuing on with my travels. I also camped out in the parking garage of a mall in Houston for 10 hours to get VIP tickets to meet Kelly Clarkson. So yeah I FINALLY MET KELLY CLARKSON. If you have been following me at all you know I am obsessed with her (I know it’s scary, but I don’t care). I still can’t believe I met her and am so glad she is finally putting out a new album!!! Also before I left home I went back to Mexico to visit my grandparents. Sadly I was visiting them in a town that has changed so much from when I was a kid and that is now basically run by drug cartels. After almost 4 weeks at home it was time to hit the road again.
I arrived in Paris and found out what it tasted like & also discovered that I think everyone is jealous of Mona Lisa. I had a small break down in Belgium that lead to the 2nd time I have cried on this trip (it’s now 3). I attended Gay Pride in Amsterdam and had a blast Segway-ing through the city & also trying mushrooms for the 1st & last time. I then met up with some of my readers who were kind enough to let me stay with them for 8 nights. They taught me how people party in Hamburg & took me on one of the most amazing road trips of my life that included camping in the backyard of strangers and a quick visit to Denmark. I was then a very BAD BOY in BERLIN (still can’t believe the things I did there). I also spent 24hours in Prague and managed to find two peeing men & capture it on video. From there I made it to Munich where a friend from home visited me. Lisa I am so glad you visited me… I love ya so much and hope NYC treats ya well. I then flew for the 1st time on RyanAir to Valencia where I did nothing for a week, but also attended La Tomatina (something I had wanted to for years). Well now here I am in AFRICA.
Fuck I still can’t believe I managed to do all that in 100 days seems impossible, but it really is possible. I write just about all my highlights on my blog, but some I have kept for myself that at some point I will share. I have grown to seriously love what I am doing not just the traveling part, but the blogging part. I have received so many amazing emails and am making a difference. I just love it… but I also want to share a part of me I haven’t shared on my blog yet. I never quite know what to write on my 100 day post and it normally hits me a few days before hand. This is something I have been dealing with for the past 200 days and I don’t know if it will ever go away.
I am scared to travel… and I don’t know why. I seriously get so scared when I am changing cities. Whether it is in Central America or in Europe I just do. I’ve mentioned many times how I hate transportation days. I hate them because one they are normally long, boring and exhausting and two because I think that is when any traveler traveling alone is the most vulnerable. We are in transit where we must be alert at all times and then arriving in cities that we have no clue about and must make our way to our hostel or apartment with out anything happening. Aside from being held at gunpoint in Monteverde, Costa Rica nothing (as I knock on wood) bad has happened to me. I have not had any other scares at all so I don’t know why I worry so much. If my travels have taught me anything it is that the world is not as dangerous as the news & people make it out to be.
The night before I made my way to Morocco. I actually cried… yes I cried… I know fucking dramatic, but I did. I was so scared… I had read about Morocco and read that it was safe, but for me my mind kept saying “Jaime you are going to AFRICA” “Jaime you are going to a country that is not Latin American or European“ “Jaime Jaime Jaime” and so yes I of course cried.
I don’t know how many bloggers do, but I keep my blog updated and also a personal journal. I’m going to quote something I wrote in there the night before heading to Morocco that is how I feel.
“Ahhh I’m fucking crying right now… & I know why it’s cus I miss home. Not so much being home, but the fact of certainty. I love what I am doing so much, but I think it is taking a toll on me. At least transportation days are. I fucking hate them. I get scared every damn time & I can’t help it. ”
Yes I write in my journal the same way I write on here (it’s how I write). Anywho it’s so weird I don’t miss being home, but sometimes I miss home because the certainty I had there. Even though being home is not always safer than traveling. I know anything can happen at any time anywhere. I however think that is what I miss the most, because on the road I think certainty is what you have the least of. I don’t know if any of that made sense at all. On the right you see a famous quote that I am sure everyone has seen & read a million times. I know for a fact it is one of the most honest & true quotes ever. Even though sometimes I get scared as hell I do not let it stop me from doing what I want to do. It’s not easy, but I know if I did let it stop me I would regret so much for the rest of my life. I mean hell if I had let it stop me I would have never done any of the things I have done in the last 200 days. I guess I am human (I hope I am) and well it is natural to be scared. If we weren’t scared of anything then we would have problems… or would we?
So now I am asking y’all is there anything you do in your life that you are scared to do, but do anyway? Any of you that read my blog that have been traveling for much longer than I have… Do you still get scared? Is it natural to get scared… like this? With time will it ever go away? Ahhh I have million questions… for now I am going to travel away, because I do love it… if I ever don’t love it I would just book a plane ticket and make my home. For the record I am not complaining I am sharing my feelings about something I had not shared before. Kinda like a confession…